Portal, Portal on the Wall, 2002. Acrylic on canvas, 36" x 29."
The first step to enlightenment is to sit quietly and ask oneself where does the ego spend it's time? You will find that the ego rules its world from a throne of self importance where what is always on its mind is self protection, avoidance and fear, sex and social acceptance. Like an asinine guard the ego believes its worth to be reflected in all of its more than mundane routines.
. . .what an ungodly mess you really are!

Enlightenment has prepared you to be able to take a good look at the true state of your convinctions. Your attitudes toward the opposite sex are no longer hidden from your view. Your time is spent wisely making firm life and death decisions. You no longer blurt words into the world like so many milkshakes. Sure you are wounded, confused, slitely bitter but you are no longer bleeding. Your Ego is Dead. Only in this constant, continuing moment is your battle fought and won.

-The unknownpoet

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Taking that quietness into your day you will find that 95% of your time is spent devising ways to worry about the manner in which you appeal to the opposite sex. Ask yourself: "What kind of thoughts do I have about Mating? Can I change my routines on Mating? Can I drop them forever?Am I detached enough to observe the thoughts I have about mating?
Quite suspiciously that inner quietness will begin to creep into the stream of conscious crapola that you spew everyday in form of very convincing thoughts and heartfelt opinions about the waywardness of the everyday world (including but not excluding political direction, econmical erection, spiritual decline, and on and on).

Ask yourself can you get rid of these thoughts for better or for worse or for worse yet, nothing at all? Can you seek to purge yourself of this slithering, grotestuely malformed bloated ego whose only purpose is pinpointing your wordview into a precise stallwarthy pattern?

Central to the idea of self is the body in all its graces and forms. In the beginning the Self is an immobile, unmovable construct despite the fact that it seems driven and constantly in motion. The unelightened self is always concerned with its image and how it looks in the eyes of others. Envious, detached, jealous, grudgeful, righteous and amply justified with memorized instances down to the core.
A moment of true trancendence. The pain and suffering is gone replaced with emptiness. After having pigeonholed yourself in everyway imaginable for weeks, months or years at a time you are finally able to see the miserable routines of self and you are able to stop them in their tracks.You know where your ego is and you know exactly where total freedom is. At last the small fringes of enlightement licks at your heels and you finally realize . . .
The resume' is nothing more than a collection of past job experiences that are grafted to the very fabric of your skin. It is who you know you are and/or who you present yourself to be that convinces others that you are educated enough to know what you are talking about and for the ego that is important.
As the illusion you've been sustaining all of your life begins to wash away and your ego feels mishmashed and hammered like a piece of cold stone, and your identity and the things you identify with are transformed into the illusions they are will you then let go of the ego or hang it like a hungry wombat in an African village? Is the realization that we are all beings who are going to die enough to push the dying ego out of the way and perhaps give the body a chance to have a chance at directing your wayward life back into the cosmically enlightened vaginal fold of nonsuffering, joy, immense warmth and affection? What happens if you succeed in all these tasks?
(Dis) Illusion Meant, 2001. Acrylic on canvas, 48" x 37.
The Concrete Self, 2000. Acrylic on canvas, 48" x 35".
Idle, Idle, Toiling Time, 2001. Acrylic on canvas, 48" x 36".
The Subconscious Mind, 2002. Acrylic and Oil Pastel on canvas, 48" x 35."
Resume', 2001.
Acrylic, and pen on canvas, 51" x 38."
Endless Mastication, 2001. Acrylic on canvas, 48" x 39."
Mating Skills, 2000.
Acrylic on canvas, 48" x 35."